Friday, February 17, 2006

hiaz.... a depressing post.... i dno why oso. im jus depressed.
recently so mani pple arnd me is breaking down.... or HAVE ALREADY broken down.... some how for the 1st time in my life i feel affected by all this... maybe not furse time la but its 1st for since i entered sec skl. i rmb de last time dis happened i jus couldnt help but fall into my nice bed and forget about everything.... and dis is wad im feeling now.
i dno wad problems parents have wif having kids that are not at all de "ideal student" .... they expect so much from us but not even considering the problems wif have to face in our life. to dem studying is DE LIFE of a student.... but have they wondered wad we realli want is not realli wad THEY want? does bringing back a pile of books and leaving it on e table for a night mean that im jus trying to show off and fakefake to dem that i actually want to study and i dun mean wad i said? obviously NO! hello pls wake up.... its friday night and im dead tired..... nobody in the right mind will study NOW rite? does it mean that i MUST study infront of u... if not im not studying?
some how or another i feel veri hopeless now.... or HELPLESS. my mind and heart both tells me dat i must work harder and prove myself.... but somehow factors from outside are affecting me. i wish i was superman. i realli wish.... but i noe its impossible. WHY CARN I JUST HAVE DE PERFECT FAMILY THAT EVERYONE WANTED? why carn dey jus be like any other pple and support me rather den "pouring cold water".... it would be much appreciated if they gave precious advice instead of stupid scoldings and naggings. you think i dun want to be smart? I WOULD LOVE TO BE SMART AND BE GOOD IN EVERYTHING.
after reading a certain someone's blog.... i somehow realise how stupid life is.
someone tell me why im living in this world.
expectations can kill. its already killing me now. somehow im thinking of dying right now....
expectations from anyone is like a knife to me.... i try to fulfil them all but it is impossible.
wad i need is some encouragement. do you get the point? no use saying all these now.... im already like dat. have you ever tried to help?
like wad i jus saw on msn not long ago.... the world is crumbling down on me. SERIOUS. i some how lost the sense of WHY i am living here.
i want my life back. GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE.
now to a certain person..... stop those irritating actions u are doing already. it is not gonna work. de impression has been made.... and its BAD. VERY BAD. wad i see of u now is an irresponsible and " trying to be popular" person. ITS SERIOUSLY NOT WORKING. jus do ur own work and no one would be pissed by you. stop complaining you have no time. DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME? dun expect everyone to do ur work for you.... because the next time dis happens again.... I WUN HELP. dats wad we all agree on so good luck. complaining is not gonna help. it onli makes u more irritating. and stop intruding into other pple's personal lifes. wad they do is not ur business.


this is probably the only post that ever show my real life.
this is reality.
i have to face up to this fact.
my life is unfair. i dun like it. I HATE IT.
someone tell me why im living in this world?

fuck you x=
9:20 PM

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