Sunday, May 21, 2006

just ignore wadeva crap is below. i just realized i typed a load of wad you call crap. but dis is real.... it is something i feel and i think many others do too.


hmm. after going through a few blogs.... i realized dat its not onli me dat is feeling like DAT so maybe is good to blog. so confused and lost.
sometimes pple expect too much bah. dats a conclusion i made after thinking for e past few days.
is not dat we did not try.... sometimes expectations can crush us just like dat.
there are times where u say AS LONG AS YOU DID YOUR BEST.... but why isit dat when it comes to that time.... de ans becums ITS OBVIOUS DAT U DIN TRY AT ALL.
i dno... but all i have to say is dun make assumptions just like dat.
even if u carn see something.... it doesnt mean dat it did not happen.
if this is de best we can do.... so be it. i dunno.
slogging hard like shit but somehow i jus dun see any end to dis rubbish.
haha after making a fone call.... i realized dat maybe its not the worse i have seen yet.
over the other side i heard a constriction, someone being controlled by the hands of a more mighty person.
power may be the key to many things. by holding on too tight u are just trying to ensure that we do wad YOU want. we have our own lifes so seriously GET A LIFE. by controlling everything we do is like telling us NO MATTER WAD YOU DO IS WRONG.
maybe i shld have tot of ending everything. hmm. i think i passed dat stage alr. when i was young i alr had the thought of just walking out like dat.... and never coming back again. but somehow i passed dat stage. becus i noe its impossible. im immune to all the crap u have.
all i need is something to make a smile on me. i used to find it easy for dat smile, but now....
force it out. dats wad i alwaes say. im trying so hard not to show it on my face.
.....
dun judge a book by its cover. i guess dat is quite true. not onli me. so many living examples arnd me.
DUN GIVE UP. something to push myself forward. but it seems useless.
NO HOLD ON TO WAD YOU HAVE. desperate attempt to try and salvage everything. but as everyday passes by .... as more peaks through the gap in the door occur.... i suddenly feel so strange and alien... as if i dun belong here anymore.
sumthing i jus saw dat gave me something to tok about. IM SO DEAD. this is wad we have to say when you becum control-freak and try and do the impossible by forcing your way through into our world.
i dun understand anymore. i dun understand ANYTHING on dis earth anymore. why isit others can be so special and impt to them while i can be so unimportant and small to you. hiaz.
stress is piling up.... but you are not helping. im suffocating, and you are adding on to the pressure on me.
as the song goes..... its not easy to be me.
even heroes have the right to dream. why dun i?
is it wrong to dream? is it wrong to wish for a better life?

fuck you x=
8:44 PM

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